Poor Kelvin

So my doctor, in his infinite wisdom, put me on hormones today. That's right. He actually believes that I need to be more hormonal than I currently am. So I went to the pharmacy to pick up my newfound treasure, and the pharmacist wanted to go over it with me. Here's what she said (this isn't a direct quote, but it's close). "This drug has a few side effects you need to be aware of. First, you should take it at night, because it will tend to make you dizzy or lightheaded. It also may alter your mood."

Woah. Exactly what did she mean, I asked. She said (and this is a direct quote): "You'll be...grouchy."

"Well," I said, "at least I'll have an excuse now."

She then went on to describe the other side effects:

--bloating

--breast tenderness

--diarrhea

--drowsiness

--dry mouth
--fluid retention

--headache

--heartburn
--muscle pain

--nausea

--stomach pain or cramping

--tiredness

--vomiting

Then, she said to me "You know these may not work, right?"