Ouch

So I was doing a google search for Blake Pellenberg, my brilliant photographer frined, when I got a wild hair up my ass to search my own name. I probably should stop doing that. I came across an article written by some nut job about a recent oral argument I did in front of the Fifth Circuit. It wasn't pretty. Here's how she described me:

Carole Callaghan represented the state. Young, blond, talked well but wasn’t sharp legally. My opinion. She never faltered when asked question but wasn’t legally as good as [the opposing counsel], by a long shot. She seemed to be talking without saying anything.

Ouch. Now, I make it a point to not blog about work, and I don't want to make an exception here, but I have to defend myself. Yes I am young (well, not really, but I look young). Yes, I am blonde. But seriously what do those two things have to do with anything about my argument? Apparently the author really falls for the dumb blonde line of thinking. I guess I should be thankful she said I was well-spoken, but the gratitude stops there. Seriously, did this overzealous imbecile who wrote "I know that some things went right over my head" actually state that I am not sharp legally? Really?

The non-lawyer part of me wants to find this woman and tell her to piss off and learn what the f--- she is talking about before she attempts to critize others. I want to tell her to learn how to spell my name right. And most of all, I want to tell her to find someone who is actually innocent to whine about, because this guy was as guilty as they come.

The lawyer part of me wants to calmly explain why I argued what I argued, how I had essentially no choice, and how, despite being a weak argument, it actualy was a good one.

Both the lawyer and the non-lawyer part of me what to tell this idiot to learn how to count. She wrote:

Each side was given 40 minutes to present their case and answer questions. Both attorneys divided it up at 15 minutes to present and 5 minutes for rebuttal.

Sorry, lady, but 15 plus 5 equals 20, not 40. We each got 20 minutes to argue (again...non-capital case. Arguments for capital cases are 30 minutes per side). And no, I did not divide it up 15 to present and 5 to rebut, becuase I can't. I get 20 minutes; I take it, and I sit down. I don't get a second chance like her side does.