Oh, please.

So some random prom queen from Indiana named Katie Stam is the new Miss America. And while normally, I wouldn't bother to even read who she is, I was interested for two reasons. First, my friend Kathy blogged about her, and I am interested in anything that Kathy deems blogworthy. Second, apparently, she isn't bothered with trivialities such as the laws of physics. I frequently read this hilarious blog called "What would Tyler Durden Do," which is, coincidentally, written by a guy from Slidell. Anyway, he had a picture of her from what I assume is the swimsuit competition of this year's Miss America competition. In this picture, Miss America's boobs appear to somehow float somewhere just under her chin without any concern for gravity. This is evident by the roughly two inches of empty swimsuit directly underneath the bottom of each of her boobs. Now, I understand that she's like 16 or something, and that she has never dared eat a honey-butter chicken biscuit (stupid bitch), but still, did she have to tape them that high? (and yes, boys, her boobs aren't naturally that perky...nobody has boobs that perky...not even 16-year-old prom queens turned Miss America) I mean, couldn't she just make it look like she nicely filled out her swimsuit like they do in Sports Illustrated or the Victoria's Secret catalogue (note the proper British spelling), where the women always look so natural?

By the way, I was just pointing out the absurdity of Miss America's tape job to Kelvin, and he commented that he was glad I was around to point out these things, and that I should carry on with my noble plight. I don't know what that means, but I think it somehow was an endorsement of any blog I write where he essentially gets my permission to look at pictures of hot chicks in string bikinis.