It's really not that hard, people

I was going to write a post about people not being able to park between the lines at work, when I realized that once, a while back, I blogged about people not being able to park between the lines at work. But I did that on my other blog, which I no longer post to anymore, and you people don't read. So here's my entry from that blog. It still expresses my sentiments quite well:

If you can't park between the f'ing lines, don't park there! It's really not difficult. And if you have a small car, park in the damn small car spots. Don't take a big spot, and then bitch when a big car parks in a small spot. Oh, and seriously, who the hell designs these garages? Do they f'ing live in Europe? We're in Texas for Christ sake! EVERYONE has big cars. Don't make a parking lot with 50% small spots, because 95% of the cars won't fit in them. One other thing. Just because you drive a porche, doesn't mean you get two spots. Your shit smells just as bad as everyone elses. In fact, I think it actually smells worse. I hear pate does that to you. So park your pretty, fast, mid-life-crisis-mobile on the damn street, or leave it at home, or park in a damn small spot like the rest of the plebeians you work with. You are not better than us because of your car, you're dumber for wasting your money on a car that you can never utilize. I guarantee you, you aren't pushing the limits of your super-fast race car on Mopac on the way home from work. All you are doing is fucking up your suspension as you unsuccessfully attempt to dodge potholes while making an ass of yourself as you try to get the attention of the 20-year-old bimbo in daddy's Mercedes (who, incidentally, is too busy texting her girlfriends while driving 40 miles an hour in the fast lane to notice the balding, overweight geezer giving her fuck-me looks).

But I digress. Learn to park in ONE spot.