The Violent Femmes are my inspiration

So for those of you who don't know, the Violent Femmes have a song called "Fat." It's about this guy who wants his chick to get fat so she will come back to him. I like that. I think more men should take this approach, and in the spirit of promoting a good idea, I've been getting fat for Kelvin for the past couple of months. I'm sure he's fully appreciative.