I'll have the strawberry fields salad, hold the pretension

So I got lunch today from this place downtown called Leaf. Normally, I'd hyperlink to the restaurant's site, but I'm annoyed with them today, so no link for them. Why, do you ask, am I annoyed (let's pretend you did ask)? You may say, "I've been there, and they have the most fantastic salads." You'd be right, of course. Their strawberry field salad is to die for. But, I don't like it exactly how they make it. Which should be no problem. It's not like I'm wanting them to custom blend dressings for me. I just happen to not want bacon on my salad, and prefer not to have four pounds of goat cheese and onions in it either.

So I went in today at 11:30 or so, and I was the only customer in the joint. There was no one eating, nobody in line, nada. It was just me and about 10 employees all standing around looking self-important. So I walked up and told the closest person I wanted two strawberry fields, but each one would be a little different. So the first girl got another girl to do the second salad. Then the first girl took off on the first one. She acted like she was the A.J. Foyt of the salad-making world. Or like there was a customer waiting to be served behind me. Or--more likely--as if she had very important things to do with her time other than make a stupid salad for a stupid customer. The second girl asked me a question, and when I turn to answer her, the first girl dumped what had to have been the equivalent of two large red onions on my salad. I said "woah, hang on there...." And then I got the look You know, the look that says "how dare you question my salad making abilities, you plebeian?" Not to be deterred from my mission to eat an entire salad without giving myself putrid onion breath, I told her to take some of the onions off. That nearly sent her over the top. She then proceded to make my salad with so much anger and hostility you would have thought I had told her I voted for McCain, or didn't believe in global warming. Much to her bitter disappointment, I still made her make my salad the way I wanted.

Apparently, the part on their website where they say "Our impeccable staff will strive to serve you with common courtesies" is meant to be very loosely interpreted. Or perhaps they strive for that, but it's one of those Big Hairy Audacious Goals that they just won't ever be able to attain. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to keep going there. But next time, I'm going to actually tell them that I want the strawberry fields, hold the onions and the pretension.