Fat people and sportswear

I feel as though I am somewhat of an authority on fat people. I've had years to fully explore and develop my knowledge base first hand. But I'm not quite as well-informed when it comes to working out. Frankly, I suck at it. But, I want to see the world through the eyes of a skinny person (or at least a skinnier person), so I find myself having to enter the unknown world of real exercise.

This exploration has prompted me to purchase some new clothing. You know, clothing that's work-out appropriate. And let me tell you, the people who make work-out clothes must all firmly believe that fat people should either go on being fat, or exercise nude. Because they do not make clothing to fit fat chicks. Even sports bras that are supposed to be my size leave much to be desired.

I tried on some different things today at Sports Authority. One item was a sports bra in my size (which is really really big). I loosened the straps as far as they would go, and the bottom of the bra just barely reached the top of my tits. Seriously. Who the hell are they making these things for? People without shoulders? Circuis freaks? I feel like writing Champion and telling them that they can stop making them because the people who actually have boobs that high up on their chests don't need bras. Fake tits hold themselves up.

As for the shorts and shirts, the goal of work-out clothing appears to be "make fat people go away by forcing them to stand in front of those long-ass mirrors that line the walls of every athletic club in the free world and stare at their rolls of fat until they decide the better option is to kill themselves." The one benefit to these clothes is that some of them are so hard to get in and out of (think sports bras) that I am pretty sure I lost weight just trying them on. My new strategy is to go try clothes on for at least an hour every day. I should be skinny in no time.