A friend of mine just came into my office and told me about her bathroom experience. We've all been there before...you go into the bathroom, and the whole place is empty. So, being the polite person that you are, you take the first stall. You're just settling in, and bam, the stall door next to yours closes. WTF? How is it, with 4 empty stalls to choose from, this a-hole (pun intended) has to take the spot right next to your occupied stall? Does she know its you, and just wants to piss you off? Does she have a secret lesbian crush on you, and she's actually stalking you, thinking of ways to get that pesky husband of your out of the picture? Is she incredibly near sighted, and just not realize that the bathroom has several stalls beyond the first two?
No, she's just another self-absorbed bitch who thinks her shit doesn't stink. Literally. Well, guess what, lady? It does. It's smells pretty freaking bad. I should know, I've been within feet of it coming out of your ass.
But that's not all. She does her business, and you ride out the storm, hoping you can keep yourself together until she finishes her clearly-more-important business. And you make it. You hear the flush, the click of her stall door...and then the slam of the door to the hall.
WTF? It's not that hard. It would take 30 seconds of her life. Yet apparently she can't even be bothered to wash her fucking hands! Again, your mind races...did the building lose water pressure? Does she have some horrific disease that she is bitter about, so she does what she can to spread the pain? Is she somehow allergic to cheap soap and city water?
No, she's just another self-absorbed bitch who can't be bothered to wash the piss off her hands.
Our office definitely has this person. She thinks she can get in and out so fast that nobody will know it's her. And when cornered, she washes her hands. I've seen her do it. If you come out of the stall at the same time as her, she'll wash. In fact, now when I see her go into the bathroom, I purposefully make sure I'm around when she's done, so she'll be forced to wash. It's my little way of performing a public service.
I know who you are lady...we all do.
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Ok - so when I worked at Lilly there was only one woman's bathroom within a mile (ok, not really but you get the picture) of an entire floor! So, you get pretty adept at identifying shoes. We had a washless woman; she wouldn't even wash if you cornered her. So, a bunch of us started putting little Purell pumps on her desk - she didn't even use those. Said "she didn't like the smell" WTF? There is always one.
ReplyDeleteWell at my office there is a woman that washes both before and after!! I think if her body got a germ on it she would have to go into the hospital. She also puts a tissue over her computer mouse!!
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